Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Much needed break?

Maybe this is a break that I needed. To be away for 3 weeks, to be distracted. Too much of anything is bound to be bad right? Moderation is key?

I am not one to be very negative and also neglect everything else for a particular someone or something. Yet, this time it proved to be out of control. I am feeling so hapless, there was nothing much I could do. I am pissed at myself for failing to restrain myself and keep it reigned in. It has been really difficult the past week or so. What happens when you are in such lousy mood you cannot operate normally? When you are the first and last one on my mind, waking up and going to sleep. When it is so hungry yet the most appealing food fails to rouse your appetite.

When it comes to issues like this, you realised age has no bearing on it. I have not grown up at all. Dealing with all this has taken a toll and I am deeply sorry for disrupting whoever has to listen to me when you are busy with something in your lives. Thank you for your understanding.

Till Nov 28.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

decision time

I've decided that life has to go on. Yet, before it comes to the time for me to move on, it shall remain as it is. It's something I can't help it myself.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Selfish me?

Maybe I was selfish all along. All I think about is me, myself and I. I should have put myself in others' shoes and see things from their viewpoints. It doesn't make it any easier for them, to make the decisions they make, to do the things they do. I'm sorry if I made your life harder, more upset or put you in a spot. I know it is pointless to say sorry sometimes but still I'm sorry.
green strikes again. i never realised how jealous i can be. im starting to doubt my mental state of mind. what is this that is going on in my brain. it was never meant to be like this. frustration is the word.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I probably screwed it up again. The choice was between sleepless nights and probably more sleepless nights right? What's there to lose?

I wonder why too. I couldn't find the answers myself.

I'm adept at making the wrong choices. I don't know what's gonna happen. I wished I knew.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

突发启想

外表非内心实在,表现出的非个人选择。

世界看似停滞不前,时间却悄悄流逝。

书到用时方恨少,需友之时看不到。

所谓路遥知马力,日久见人心。当你没有利用价值或任何用处时,你将会慢慢的被遗忘,舍弃在一旁。

有时只想有个人陪伴,有个人依靠,有个人聆听你说的话。

Sunday, July 5, 2009

tired

In less than 5 days I am going to be a one-year soldier. Time has sped past mercilessly, waiting for no one. The days have been hectic. Event after event, there never was free period for the body and soul to rest.

Being physically tired is part of the life of a soldier, rather routine and all too familiar. Yet what is most draining, is to be mentally exhausted.

Through the process of it all, key events have been missed, and interactions too. Interactions between family and friends. Perhaps NS was meant to make you treasure your time, and the people around you. For they say - 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.

I should and could have been a better friend. My sincerest apologies to all my friends for being a lousy friend to you. I could come up with a thousand and one excuses, but I could not deceive myself for my lack of effort.

Hope that each and everyone of you continue to stay happy and make the best out of your time and remember me as a friend. As much as possible I will make time for you whenever I can.

Sigh.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Here's the long-awaited photo from the marathon..

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Adidas Sundown Marathon : A story of pain and sweat(and bridges)

My attempts to train for the ASM was pathetic at best, so I consider it a job well done for me to even managing to complete the race at all. Managed to clock in at about 5 hours and 40 minutes thereabouts, I will only know the exact timing when the results are released. Still, I steered clear of the 6 hours I targeted.

The whole day of Saturday I was drinking water in hopes of maximising the water stored by my body. Unfortunately I do not have two humps on my back and went to the toilet more than 10 times throughout the course of the day. Nearer to race time I ate some bananas and started on the 100 plus.

Longqiang drove me down to Changi Village, which was near the starting point. There was a Massive jam and we nearly couldn't find a space to park. Longqiang decided to park illegally by the roadside in a small alley. We joked that the motivation would be to complete faster so we wouldn't kena summon. Haha. So we found ourselves at the starting point just 10 minutes before the start of the race and there were tons of people who were there as well. The emcee was lively and there was very loud music playing. The range of participants were astonnishing - seasoned runners, first-time runners, uncles and aunties, ah pehs and ahmas, kids and youths, and not forgetting the army boys of course.

Barely after some simple stretches, the countdown was on and off we went! Most of the crowd sprinted off with great speed and enthusiasm, as was expected. I decided to start off walking, as my muscles were still cold and stiff, and there was no space for me to run in front anyway. No point squeezing with the rest for precious oxygen. The first stretch is called The String of Lights. It was a long long straight road with street lights lighting up the way. Changi Airport was just beside as well. Not long into the race, I felt a poke from behind - it turned out to be Xianyao, lol. We skipped the first water point as there was too many people waiting for the water.

After 5km of brisk-walking, I was more warmed up and started jogging with Longqiang. Soon we entered the east coast park stretch. At the 12km mark Longqiang was showing signs of fatique and I had to pangseh him soon after. Still going great at this point, I could hear the waves, the cheering, and the cool breeze. Lots of curious onlookers in the park as well, and some even made the effort to cheer us on. About 19km there was a U-turn in east coast park. Soon I reached the half way point - the 21km mark. I was soaked thoroughly in sweat and feeling good. I didn't feel tired, wasn't even panting, although the muscles were starting to feel sore. Not to mention feeling a little lonely, as there was no one to talk to.

As I soon found out, the challenge was not the first 21km, it was the second half. Upon turning left after the 21km, there it was, tall and menacing. It was a pedestrian bridge. The bridge had sloping inclines instead of steps, and I trudged up the bridge, with a steady pace, overtaking the rest who had resigned themselves to walking the bridge.

More water and 100 plus along the way and past Bedok Jetty and out of the park. Ran past VJC and met Jiawah just after that stretch. We grabbed some drinks and I continued running because I felt a cramp coming. I lost Jiawah since then. As the name Heartland Twist suggests, this part of the route runs through the Siglap Park Connector, HDBs and past Eunos and Kembangan MRT. This felt like the longest part of the route, for we seem to run past long canals and yet the mileage attained was so little. Now the horror. More bridges! After the agonsingly long run, there was still more bridges to conquer. Within the short distance of 5km, there were 2 bridges. One was inclined but the other was with steps. By about 26km, whatever energy we had stored was probably depleted. Luckily the aid station in front was giving out drinks and PowerGels. I got an Orange-flavoured PowerGel, and despite the multitude of horrible reviews given to PowerGels, I found the taste bearable and not as bad as claimed by many. Certainly not appetising, but the energy it provided saw me through most parts of the remaining leg of the race. Shortly after, at about 27-28km, we were given bananas! Grabbed a few bites and continued on.

Exiting the Heartland Twist, I set upon the Waterfront Trail, still running alongside the cute girl who was setting the pace. Nothing eventful for this part, we ran past Bedok Reservoir and mostly on sand and grass. All that could be heard was the steady breathing, the rhythmic foosteps pounding. Thud, thud, thud, thud, went our footsteps and although my feet was sore, the beat of the steps kept me going. Another bridge! That's 4 bridges already! Everyone was like cursing and swearing upon seeing the bridge. Nothing else we could do except to keep going. I lost the girl at about 35km, after running with her about 10km. I had jogged about 30km without realising it myself.

The last part, called the Homerun, was the most excruciating part of the race. By this time my body felt like falling apart, my joints,muscles and soles were screaming out for me to stop and my body went numb. I could no longer keep up the running. Past Pasir Ris MRT and exiting the Waterfront Trail, I went into Pasir Ris Drive. It was so painful, every step sent shock through your body. I saw Andrew catching up with me and pull ahead. I managed some jogging, hopping along and walking in between throughout. 37km already and I had no plans of giving up. If I had to I would crawl to the finish line. By now, it was mind over body.

Nearing the last few kilometres, I had the feeling of being cheated. LOL. Shouts of "You're almost there!" or "Less than 1klick only, keep running!" or "You can do it, almost finishing!" kept me going. In reality there was still quite some distance to go. It was uphill and curving in and out, turning left and right. By now the pain had reached quite a high and I thought if I continued on I would almost certainly injure myself. Reaching the Changi Village Bus Terminal, I thought the finishing was just ahead and I just needed to cross the bridge. Imagine my sian-ness when I saw a helper flashing the sign "Finishers turn right". That was at least another 600m to 800m of detour. Nonetheless I limped and ran on. I could hear the music and cheers getting louder. The lights were dazzling and I picked up speed. Numbing myself to the pain, I got into a sprint and overtook as many as I could. Finally I saw the Finishing Line and the big gateway was within reach. I sprinted past the finishing line and yes! I had done it. The race was over and I had survived. I turned my head and was surprised to see the time at 5 hours and 40 minutes. Despite the inadequate preparation, I had completed within the target I set.

I found myself a spot to wait for Longqiang and spotted among others Jiawah, Jianming, Terence, Yongzen and Mervyn completing. Indeed lots of crazy people.

All in all, it was a fun race, albeit a challenging one. Big thanks to Longqiang who drove me down, thanks to the volunteers at the aid stations and turning points, thanks to the cute girl who paced me, thanks to the fellow competitors who cheered me on, thanks to support from dearest friends, thanks to the police officers who directed traffic for us, thanks to the various non-official volunteers from along the way, thanks to the beauties who participated in the race and of course thanks to the organisers. I couldn't have done it without everyone of you.

*Edit(1/6/09 7.27pm) : The official results are out.

Total time --> 5:40:09.94
0-10km ----->1:24:40.12
10-20km ---->1:21:20.62
20-30km ---->1:00:01.78
30-42km ---->1:54:07.42

The first 10km took some time due to the 5km of walking after starting. The 10km-20km portion was because I was just getting into a slow jog. 20km-30km was mostly together with the girl whom I paced, hence the faster timing. The last stretch took almost twice as long despite the distance being 12km, evident that I done most of the walking here.

Not too bad, I reckon I could cut down my timing by another 30minutes with adequate training. Till the next sundown then!

Note to all: Marathons should be attempted with adequate training(Unless you want to suffer like me).

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

No Home-grown Entrepreneurs? No Big Deal

No Home-grown Entrepreneurs? Way Big Deal


Excerpt from The Straits Times “ It does not matter if Singapore does not produce its own entrepreneurs. That was the stark point made by former Economic Development Board chairman Chan Chin Bock yesterday when asked about the country's apparent inability to produce its own successful companies.”

It struck me as rather surprising that a former EDB chairman should make such a comment, coming from someone who champions the economic development of Singapore. I disagree vehemently that it is of no importance that Singapore produce its own entrepreneurs.

His point of contention is that "as long as a company is yielding 'social benefits', it should not matter whether it is an MNC, a government-linked company or a local enterprise." It is true that when we are looking at the benefits brought by a company, whether economical or social, it is of little or no significance where the company is from. However, this leaves our society at the mercy of the company, should it decide to shift operations or withdraw its stakes from a certain country entirely. Should a corporation uproot itself from its host country, jobs will be lost in the thousands and the potential ripples from this shockwave will be even more pronounced. A loss of jobs for sole breadwinners would mean loss of income for the family. This would inevitably result in inability to finance mortgages, pay utility bills and creating a multitude of financial-related issues for cash-strapped families in already hard times.


It also matters to have our own entrepreneurs, because we want to have the edge over our competitors. Quoting Professor Lim herself "We have to think in terms of growth being for people, not people for growth." Wouldn't it be better if the growth was by our own people? Wouldn't we grow more if locals learn how to start up and operate a business and pass on the relevant experience to our citizens? Instead of always relying on foreign expertise and experience, grooming local talent would ensure that our people continually learn and innovate, thus creating more value for businesses and the economy.


Perhaps, it is in good times, when most have a roof over their heads and a steady source of income that our citizens dare not venture out of their comfort zone. Inversely, when the market is not looking so bright, it may prompt more of our own people to be their own bosses. Whether it is because of out of desperation due to lack of jobs, or due to the opportunity that is presented during this crisis, it is evident that many has tried their hand at starting a business. I believe that given the right opportunity and funding, more will follow.


It is when the going gets tough that the tough gets going.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Update Update!

Last month's tasks:

1) IPPT Gold(Attained)
2) Training for ASM(Ongoing)
3) Save more than 50% of my pay(Done)

This month's tasks:

1) Book my holiday
2) Continue training for ASM
3) Save 50% of my pay!

Due to the upcoming training commitments that shall be all.

I will be going for interview at NUS tomorrow so all the best to myself. We'll see what happens and plan again for my further studies.

Shermian's 21st birthday party was fun, I haven't laughed so much in a long time. It was great to be able to hang out with the club gang again. Hope you like my present Shermian.

Camp life is getting hectic, frustrating, blood-boiling and tiring. It's hard not to get agitated and angsty amidst all the s**t we're getting. I have never been so angry for such prolonged periods in all my life. Goddamn amazing I have not murdered anyone yet.

Things change, people change. I guess we all got to move on when it's time for us to.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A little Inspiration?

A video I chanced upon that I found to be quite meaningful and therefore took the time to put this in before I go back to camp. Getting back up seems easy with 4 limbs. What happens when you have 1 less limb, or in this case 4 less limbs? A little encouragement for the down and out people out there:



Your battle is really lost when you give up on yourself.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Last month we had:
  1. Complete NVM (Done)
  2. IPPT Gold (Short of 12s, retaking this tuesday)
  3. Training for ASM (Pushing any further distance training till after IPPT)
  4. Start registering at BBDC (Failed horribly)
This month's updated list:
  1. IPPT Gold
  2. Training for ASM
  3. Save more than 50% of my pay
Not alot of time this month coupled with the number of duties, hence the reduced targets. Might add to it in future. Due to lack of time, registering for BBDC shall be pushed back.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Last Sunday I completed the National Vertical Marathon with Yan Shun. That has got to be the earliest Sunday that I have ever woken up. Bloody 5am! We took a cab down only to find out registration hasn't started yet. !@#$%

We sped through the first 20 floors and our battery went flat after that. If you ever see on TV that the contestants are still running up on the last few floors, that has got to be staged. Whoever lasts past 40 floors is amazing enough. By the 30 floor the only strength I have got left was to keep climbing the stairs 2-3 steps at a time.

Quote of the day: "Why did we pay to suffer this ah?" - Ng Yanshun.

And here are the pictures.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

It's been 1 month!

It's February! Time to review last month's tasks.
  1. Print my photos (Done)
  2. Decorate my room (Done)
  3. Register for National Vertical Marathon (Done)
  4. Register for Adidas Sundown Marathon (Done)
  5. Clear my Class 2b license (Yet to make it to BBDC)
  6. Start on driving (As above)
  7. Marksman (Achieved)
  8. IPPT Gold (Training in progress)
  9. Start training for NVM and ASM. (In progress)
So the updated list for end of Jan is:
  1. Complete NVM
  2. IPPT Gold
  3. Training for ASM
  4. Start registering at BBDC
That's all for now. Will add to the list again.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Johannes Schwenzer

The latest Sunday was spent with Johannes Schwenzer, hailing all the way from Germany. At first look, Johannes looked every bit of a local expat perfectly comfortable and at ease with ze weather in Singapore. He was all smiles, short curly hair, and of average asian build. Togged out in a sleeveless shirt and bermudas with canvas shoes, Johannes blended in with ze local crowd. That is, except for ze sunburnt skin betraying his intolerance of ze Singapore sun.

We settled for dinner at MOF - My Ikazaya eventually after realising Spageddies was closed. Ze dinner was really fantastic. Conversation flowed freely for the duration of our dinner. We shared a great love for good food and did not spare any expense ordering our food. From travels, to politics, to our personal lives, to environmental issues, and to creating a better world, our topics provided endless fodder for debate and discussion. Johannes found girls in Singapore(yes, even the waiter serving us) to be very beautiful. It's funny that I shared more with Johannes in my 3 hours of knowing him than I ever did with other people in my many years of acquaintance.

Johannes is very passionate, and speaks of big yet simple dreams. I am amazed that at the young age of 21, Johannes has already seen countries in Europe, went to India and also seen the Himalayas. Among his many talents are violin, guitar, firejuggling, dancing, diving and surfing. Indeed, one simply has to personally listen to the magic he does on the guitar to be thoroughly convinced. I, myself was certainly entranced by the soothing tunes he learned on his travels.

Back at home, Johannes is an activist for ecological living and alternative lifestyle. In him I saw someone who truly cared for the world and was ready to be a friend to anyone in the world. The world desperately needs more Johanneses.

As I soon learnt, Johannes would be going over to Malaysia where he would work on a yacht briefly and tour the country. Following which he would make his way to Indonesia by ship, then to Australia where he would work and play for 6 months. The last leg of his journey is at Japan, where he hopes to catch the solar eclipse in June. I was impressed with his resourcefulness, determination and also courage to travel alone and literally trudge through the unknown. At 21 he dared to venture out, dared to leave his home behind and sacrifice the comfort and stability which he enjoyed in exchange for memorable experiences which will probably last a lifetime. How many of us would have done that? How many of us would have even thought of doing that? It may not be traveling, it may not be leaving home, but have you truly dared to go for what you always wanted? Or would you rather make others around you happy by achieving what was expected of you?

I am grateful that I gotten to know Johannes. I wish him all the best on his future travels. May he continue to make new friends and encounter great experiences. It's a pity that I couldn't spend more time showing him around Singapore and introduce more good food to him. Overall it has been a great meeting and a fantastic cultural exchange. Gonna miss your Nepalese tunes, Johannes! Take care, good bye and hopefully see you again!